Pain in the Heart
by I. M. Rain
Summary: The marauders after graduation. Lily and James are yet to be married but tensions rise as Snape tries to interfere with the couple's new plans.
1. In Memory of Helena Young

_Remus Lupin_

_It is a cold night. I run wild, my fur flying behind me. My robes are left in places I don't think I will ever visit again. The eve is dark with only light from the moon. I lift my face to it and I howl._

Chapter I

In Memory of Helena Young

The old man dropped the sheaf of parchment on the table. "It is important we go through all of this. I found it in his bedroom. These are the last observations made by Helena Young before Voldemort murdered her and her family last night."

A collective shudder went around the room.

"I want everyone to be sure to take note of anything important she saw to better clue us in on what's going on. We can't let her death be such a waste. She was an important member and she will be missed by all." The man sat down and smoothed his long silver beard and wiped his twinkling blue eyes. This man went by the name Albus Dumbledore and was headmaster to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and head of the Order of the Phoenix which meeting he was leading.

"What about her body," one of the members whispered. He was tall and by far the most handsome man at the table with raven hair that fell into his intelligent, black eyes.

"There is a team searching for it now, Sirius…but I doubt it highly that we should recover it. It is more likely that Voldemort will use it to add to his already commendable army of Inferi."

A dark red-headed female, who looked barely out of childhood, sniffled trying to contain her tears. The man sitting next to her put an arm around her shoulders but she pushed him away.

Dumbledore reached out and touched her hand. "There, there, Lily. We all know you were very close to her. She was a very brave woman and she is honored. Don't cry. It's unbecoming when such a happy time approaches."

"S-she was s-supposed to be my maid of h-honor!" Lily howled.

"And she still is. She is the only maid of honor."

"I c-can't get married now," Lily sobbed getting up from the table and running from the room.

The man sitting next to Lily sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Don't trouble yourself too much James, she's just grieving. Give her some time."

James looked up. "I know," he muttered. "But Blimey, Helena who would have thought?"

"Who wouldn't have, James. She was a valuable member of the order as are all of you. We may yet all be next. Who knows how much he knows now. That is something we need to figure out. For now, take a look at the papers I've given you. That's all. Let us retire and go home and remember what happens to those whose guards are not up. Good night," and he swept from the room.

"I can't believe it," the man sitting on the right of Sirius said. He had fair longish hair and a thin gentle face but looked like he was constantly plagued by ill health. "I remember meeting Helena in first year. I met her on the train. We sat in the same compartment. If you told me then that she would have…would have…"

"Remus," Sirius said gently touching his arm.

Remus put his head down and took a deep, shaky breath. James stood up. "I'm going to go check on Lily." 

"I should probably go home," another man said quietly taking his wife by the hand. "It's been a very long night." 

"It hasn't really," his wife whispered between tears. "Just a really horrible one."

"Let's go Alice," he said putting an arm around her shoulders. The couple left through the doorway.

"What did I tell you?" another man leaning against the wall growled. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

"We know, Mad-eye," Sirius said.

"You don't have that you'll end up worse off than poor Helena Young," Mad-eye Moody said removing his hip flask and taking a draught. "You sleep on that." Then he picked up his traveling cloak and ducked out through the doorway.

There was a short silence broken by Sirius. "Let's have a drink," he said pulling out the fire whiskey. "James! Lily! Get in here."

James reappeared pulling Lily by the hand. Sirius handed them both glasses. "In memory of Helena Young, the bravest woman and Gryffindor who ever lived."


	2. Moving On

_Peter Pettigrew_

_Am I rat or a human? Does my animal have a symbolic meaning? Am I afraid that my identity will be usurped and the end of my existence will follow? What is it that is suddenly so ominous that looms on my horizon?_

Chapter II

Moving On

It was a quiet breakfast in the Longbottom's household. Frank served coffee to his two guests while his wife, Alice, set the breakfast on the table. "I didn't think you would eat today," Alice said smiling at Lily. "So I invited you over to make sure you did. You're already too thin, Lily." 

Lily sniffed and didn't answer.

"Thank you, Alice," James said covering up his fiancé's rudeness, "for this delicious breakfast."

"You're welcome anytime, James," she said sitting down and fixing her own meal. "Frank you have bacon on your shirt."

"Oh," Frank said wiping it. "Sorry."

James laughed and took Lily's hand from under the table giving it a little squeeze. He was worried because of her sudden withdrawn mood and thought she was acting a lot like Sirius when he was upset. The trouble was, all of the techniques he used on Sirius to cheer him up wasn't working on Lily. She barely responded to his owls and made up excuses so she wouldn't have to go out. He was anxious that she was serious about canceling the wedding but he forced himself to stay calm and wait like Dumbledore told him and not to blow up. He let his knee drop so that it was touching hers just to remind her of his presence and that she wasn't alone.

"Fink we should go out with everyone to get our minds off the present mood?" Frank asked James.

James looked at Lily and doubted that she would want to go anywhere with anyone nor get her mind off her mood. He knew her, she was too stubborn. She was going to wallow until she was sick of wallowing and who knew how long that would take?

"I don't feel much up to going anywhere," Lily said predictably.

"Lily, you can't just shut yourself up. You can't just pretend the whole world died because one person has left this world," Alice said frowning.

Lily glared at her.

"And don't pretend you were her only friend," Alice said tearing up. "We all loved her, and you know it. You didn't love her best. I was close to her too. Don't sh-shut me out!" She threw down her knife and fork and stormed from the room.

Frank sighed and Lily bit her lip looking ashamed of herself. "I was hoping that things would get a little lighter by having breakfast together," Frank said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Lily said tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Maybe we should go," James said standing and taking Lily with him. "I'm sorry about this Frank, but it isn't the right time."

"Yeah," Frank said standing. "I'm sorry, too…I guess I'd better check on Alice." 

"Yeah," James said pulling Lily out of the house. "See you."

The door shut and James rounded on her.

"I'm sorry!" she cried before he could get a word in edgewise. "I didn't mean to upset her! Don't yell at me, too!"

"I wasn't going to yell at you," James said wiping her teary face with a handkerchief he procured out of nowhere. "I was only going to suggest that you go home and sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," she sobbed. "If I sleep then I'll dream about it. And I don't want to g-go home to where _she_ is!"

"Then come back to my house, darling, and stop the tears, please. You'll worry my mother and she'll yell at me because she'll think it's all my fault." 

Lily let out a choked laugh. "That would be kind of funny."

"You are cruel," he said wrapping an arm around her. "C'mon, let's apparate there."

"Hello, Mum," James said walking through the large archway into his very well furnished house. "I brought Lily with me." 

"Oh, wonderful!" Mrs. Potter said dashing out in her apron and kissing her son's cheek and then her future daughter-in-law. "I heard about what happened. Oh come in here dear, you look like you could use a nice cookie."

Lily followed her into the kitchen gratefully where she found Sirius already in there eating cookies.

"Oh Sirius," Mrs. Potter said. "I didn't know you were here." 

"'Ello, Mum," Sirius joked with a mouth full of cookie. "Just stopping in to see Prongs. Is he here. Hi there Lily, how does it go?"

"Better," Lily said kissing Sirius's cheek and then taking a cookie from the plate.

"Glad to hear it," Sirius said grinning and slouching out of the room. 

"It's a sad thing to watch them grow up," Mrs. Potter said wiping her eyes. "Makes me feel old and useless."

"You're not old and you're not useless!" Lily cried in shock. "I need you! Who's going to give me advice on what to do if James acts like a prat and we get into a fight? And who's James going to run to when I kick him out of the house? And who's going to spoil my children because I know I won't."

"Okay, okay," Mrs. Potter said. "Until you're married then, I'm useless."

"Not true. Who's going to help me pick out the perfect wedding dress and help me plan our wedding because I can't do it alone and, well, James is too…well, you know."

"Lazy?" 

"Yeah…"

They giggled and both dug into more cookies. "I'm glad my son chose you," Mrs. Potter said. "You're a girl who has her head on straight. I was afraid that James was out for a more wild girl. Someone he would never settle down with. But I'm happy it was someone who could keep both her feet on the floor and exercise control over him. I never see him as well behaved except in your presence." 

"Thanks, Mrs. Potter," Lily said smiling. "I think I'll go see what they're up to. I should probably apologize to James. I've been sort of cruel to him."

"You do that, dear," Mrs. Potter agreed turning back to her cooking.

Lily climbed the stairs and stopped at James's door. It was quiet in the hall except for muttering coming from inside the door. "James?" Lily said knocking. The muttering went silent and the door opened.

The four marauders, as they called themselves were already sitting there. Sirius and James were on the bed talking and Remus was on the desk chair. Peter was on the floor going through old photo albums.

"Remember this one?" he was saying. "Look at Snape's face!"

Lily gave a cool glare at Peter for making fun of Snape and let the house elf, Cookie, scramble out of the room. She sat on the bed next to James and he put his arms around her.

"What are you doing?" he asked giving her a chaste kiss on the head.

"Moving on," she said.


	3. Old Times

_Sirius Black_

_It is I who fears most for my friends and family. I know they all are in pain for what has happened and what will happened. That is the worst part, knowing that something more will happened. Who will it be next? I will do all that I have in my power to protect those I love. They show weakness, but I show loyalty. That is all I have ever had and all I ever will have. I am loyal to them as they are to me. I will die for them as they would for me. I am only hoping that it will not come to that._

Chapter III

Old Times

"I feel sick," Lily said looking down at the dead cat on the ground. "Why are muggles so stupid?"

"If we were driving around in big machines instead of disappearing and reappearing from midair, we'd run over a few cats, too," James defended them.

"Not me, I think I'd know if I saw a cat in the middle of the road. I wouldn't just run over it," Lily said. "I'd stop first. What if it was an animagus?" 

"I doubt it, Lily, it was probably some stupid blind cat."

"What if it was a wizard killed by another wizard and transfigured into a cat and made to look like road kill?"

"Now you're sounding like Moody." 

"Well, thanks James. He's right, you know, about constant vigilance? We have to constantly look over our shoulders."

James sighed and took her hand. "You worry too much." 

"No the problem is you don't worry enough so I have to worry twice as hard for both of us!"

James laughed and kissed her on the mouth. "You're cute, now let's get going. You wanted to look at those wedding cakes, didn't you?" 

The tail of the cat twitched as it watched through one half-dead eye. A thousand miles away, in a forest in Albania, Lord Voldemort laughed.

"Who would have thought that legilimency on road kill could be so effective?" Lord Voldemort asked in a high, cruel voice. "What a timely death for such a useless animal, but Lord Voldemort appreciates it."

"Yes, my lord," a greasy haired man agreed turning from the window and trying to block out what he saw in his master's mind. _Married. Lily and James…he would not have it. He could not have it. She was his first…_

"I don't like these ones, James," Lily said for the hundredth time.

"God, woman, do you have to be so picky?" James demanded reaching for another catalogue and throwing an apologetic smile at the lady in charge yet again.

"I want something that is classical, something not so modern and fancy looking. I want something simple, James." 

"Ew, why? I have money, can't we spend it?"

"We'll spend it on something more practical! I'm not buying a thousand dollar cake!"

"Then let me buy it!"

"No! This isn't about money, James."

"It's a cake! It's all going to the same place anyway." 

"Yes but…Please, James, can't it be my way just this once?"

James snorted. "It's always your way. Fine. Find us something simple, please."

The woman smiled and pulled out some fresh catalogues and cleared her throat. "We have Victorian and—"

"Too fancy," Lily interrupted.

"Lily, let the woman finish," James said. "Continue."

"Well, what did you pick?" Remus asked when James and Lily came for dinner that evening.

"Nothing," James said irate. "She decided to ask my mother to bake it."

"I thought it would be fitting since no one else cooks as good as her anyway. Why not?"

"You might have thought of that before dragging me to look at the stupid cakes!" 

"Dragging you? What about spending time with me? Or does that not matter to you?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Dinner anyone?"

"I hope the dinner isn't too fancy, Lily might have a tantrum," James spat.

"Who's having a tantrum, Potter?"

"I can't tell you how many times I had to apologize to that lady because of your attitude! You know the world doesn't revolve around you, Evans!"

Lily's mouth dropped. "No it doesn't, but yours should. Instead, it's too busy revolving around your big, fat head!" She turned on her heel and stormed out through the open door.

"Well, that wasn't exactly how I imagined our dinner party to go but…" Remus said. Then he smiled teasingly. "Brings back old times, though, doesn't it?" 

James glared and sat on the couch. "She's such a brat."

"She'll be back," Remus said taking the food out.

"I highly doubt that she'll be coming anytime soon," James argued. "Lately, she only cares about herself."

"That's really harsh, James. Give her a break. She just lost her best friend."

"Hello, I'm her fiancé, I'm supposed to be her best friend." 

"Best girl friend."

"She's supposed to come to me with these sort of things. Instead she acts like a spoiled baby and throws tantrums." 

"Different people deal with things in different ways." 

"Whatever." 

"She's not perfect, James. One day you'll wake up and realize that." 

James ignored him and started picking at the food. About five minutes later, the doorbell rang and Lily was back in looking very cold with wet hair due to the rain.

"I'm sorry, James," she said sitting down and not looking at him.

"It's okay," James answered. "You're soaked, Lily." He flicked his wand once and a towel came zooming out from the bathrooms. "I love nonverbal spells. They're so much more discreet."

Remus chuckled and brought out some tea. "Sorry my china isn't the best," he apologized and looked down modestly.

"If it belongs to you, then it's the best," James said laughing. "Was that a corny line, or what?"

"Stop being childish," Lily said smiling at Remus kindly. "James is right, though, Remus. You are the best."

Remus gave a small smile and turned away.

"And as usual, you're too hard on yourself," James said ruffling his old friend's hair. "Next to Sirius, you'd be my best man and then of course Peter, wherever he might be." 


End file.
